TOPSECRET!!! SOURCE CODE!!!! CHECK THIS OUT!!!

From the Mac folk, who always wondered what we pc'ers were grumbling about:


           #include "win31.h"
           #include "win95.h"
           #include "win98.h"
           #include "workst~1.h"
           #include "evenmore.h"
           #include "oldstuff.h"
           #include "billrulz.h"
           #include "monopoly.h"
           #define INSTALL = HARD

           char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
           void main()
           {
               while(!CRASHED)
               {
                   display_copyright_message();
                   display_bill_rules_message();
                   do_nothing_loop();
                   if (first_time_installation)
                   {
                       make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
                       do_nothing_loop();
                       totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
                       search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
                       make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
                       disable_Netscape();
                       disable_RealPlayer();
                       disable_Lotus_Products();
                       hang_system();
                   }

                   write_something(anything);
                   display_copyright_message();
                   do_nothing_loop();
                   do_some_stuff();

                   if (still_not_crashed)
                   {
                       display_copyright_message();
                       do_nothing_loop();
                       basically_run_windows_3.1();
                       do_nothing_loop();
                       do_nothing_loop();
                   }
               }

               if (detect_cache())
                   disable_cache();

               if (fast_cpu())
               {
                    set_wait_states(lots);
                    set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
                    set_mouse(action, jumpy);
                    set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
               }

               /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1");    */
               /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11");   */
               /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95");     */
               /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
               /* printf("Welcome to Windows 98");     */
               /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
               printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");

               if (system_ok())
                   crash(to_dos_prompt)
               else
                   system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

               while(something)
               {
                   sleep(5);
                   get_user_input();
                   sleep(5);
                   act_on_user_input();
                   sleep(5);
               }
               create_general_protection_fault();
           }



You can also read Source Code to Microsoft's Marketing Strategy, The Readme File From Hell, an important article about Online addiction, or you can visit the Boar's Ring page or the maintainer's site map.